Congratulations…..it’s a GIRL!!…..AGAIN!!! Family stood in silence….In India women who fail to produce sons are beaten, have to live with the second wife of her husband and live in her house as a maid or brutally murder them to remarry and produce a son with another wife.
In today’s modern time when everything is getting advanced in terms of technology, education and so called SOCIETIES, we still carry forward the orthodox thinking about women. Every individual talks or write about violence on women, women equality, killing female infants and rape, they also talks about the change we need to bring in our society to overcome these issues….but in reality ‘talking’, is the only thing they do!! Are we really applying those so called verdicts to change the society!!
We call ourselves modern, techno-freaks but when it comes to women we still behave conservative. Whether it’s an urban man or a man living in a village for women the approach is similar. A guy I met in a train who is married and was a father of a girl, we started talking and discussing each other’s profession and when I am telling her about my profession he interrupt and said; I don’t like women work as they hurdle our salary and promotion. I asked him, how can a co-worker hamper your success? He said they are too slow to meet the dead lines but are consistent in their performance. So other company is getting more in less and they don’t demand for increments, which in return affect men’s life as when they ask for increment the boss give them the example of these women who share the same post and more consistent in her performance. So he interpret that these girls are acquiring their jobs in less pay which attract companies to hire them over man. When he finished I just asked him a single question; you are a father of a girl and will you be not happy seeing your girl working and achieving her goals?? The man said no….I will not allow her to work.
We live in a patriarchy world where man always has an upper hand. But why always women have to sacrifice their life for you or your family….they do have dreams to fulfill but then why always they are asked to forfeiture by keeping their aspirations on stake…I will not blame men!! But the society for their myths about women…the defect or the loops in the upbringing of a girl where constantly people around her told that she has to behave in a certain manner because she is a girl. Also society manipulates the traditional stories and put up in the way that world looks male dominated and women as a sufferer. For example: in Hinduism – ‘Sita’, wife of Lord Rama sat on fire to prove herself pure (interpretation by the society: girl are not allowed to step out from their home and they are the property to their husbands) ; in Jainism – they don’t praise any goddess as they consider their menstruation as a curse for the purity to be the God(interpretation: women are nothing without man); in Islam – man is allowed to have four wives (interpretation that they are allowed to marry as many women). In some traditional setups, women are required to be covered from head-to-toes in dark grab, where their greatest offence is showing their face, while on others, they are untouchables during the period of menstruation, unable to enter a kitchen or eat with their own family.
These biased stories in our childhood from sacred books never tell us the other side of the coin where women are kept at the top in every single religion, where they are respected, how they should be respected and also states the consequences for not doing so. “Our religion is not and has never been, “reluctant” to tell women to stop doing things.” In fact, people build entire careers around it and manipulated them for their well-beings. We start believing the facts that we are weak and a step below them. The brutal irony is that it is an evil perpetrated against girls by women and we just stay silent and tolerate because we learnt to behave this way. In Urban Liberal Society the inequalities exist with different notions, spinsterhood, divorce and single motherhood are un-expectable in many shells. The societal pressure to settle down, conform and support only the spouse’s career along with an uncooperative family ensure women give up the hope of long-term careers, settle for odd jobs, or simply quit.
“Things keep happening all around us. There is violence, there is gore, there are people who will use us and never look back to see what became of you, and worse, there are people who will break us into smithereens before they leave.”
Every women or individual is aware of our condition and our suffering but still it is phenomenon because we are allowing us to suffer. We can’t change the myths just by talking. We have to act to revolutionize it. By giving women reservations, talking about gender spaces or trying to plan city according to gender equality are not the answers to this problem. They may be the tools which will help us out in later stages but for a real change we have to start with basics.
To bring a real change we have to transform the upbringing techniques of our child, from the childhood we have to teach a girl that she is none lesser then any guy, she can do everything and anything she wants. We have to break our mental myths and come out from the cocoon where we consider her weak. We have to make our next generation understand women equally important as man. We have to give her the freedom and teach our son to respect every girl she met. The discrimination regarding education, freedom, priorities, fashion etc should be change to break the line between a girl and a boy. Boys should be educated regarding the superiority of the women, being responsible to carry forward lives on planet and she is as important as a man to be a part of every decision making. The sacred stories are to be reframed, where they indulge the value and position of women in every individual.
Above all we as a woman have to believe in ourselves, that we are no lesser than a man and can achieve everything we want. As a women love yourself and respect every woman around you. Stop underestimating your strength, because god made you to fight against all the pains so just club up all your inner powers and answer this world that when we agree to same principles everything will be change. We don’t need a matriarchic society but for equality we have to fight back for our own rights….if we are responsible for every new life than make them believe that if you kill us, ‘You are ending life’ on this earth. Ladies proud to a part of womanhood…. ‘Together we can and we will bring a change’, and for this start action as ‘word may lie but action will always tell the truth’.