“LET’S BEGIN OUR PORTION” ,Better to be strong than pretty and useless.

Template 3Congratulations…..it’s a GIRL!!…..AGAIN!!!  Family  stood in silence….In India women who fail to produce sons are beaten, have to live with the second wife of her husband and live in her house as a maid or brutally murder them to remarry and produce a son with another wife.

In today’s modern time when everything is getting advanced in terms of technology, education and so called SOCIETIES, we still carry forward the orthodox thinking about women. Every individual talks or write about violence on women, women equality, killing female infants and rape, they also talks about the change we need to bring in our  society to overcome these issues….but in reality  ‘talking’, is the only thing they do!! Are we really applying those so called verdicts to change the society!!

We call ourselves modern, techno-freaks but when it comes to women we still behave conservative. Whether it’s an urban man or a man living in a village for women the approach is similar. A guy I met in a train who is married and was a father of a girl, we started talking and discussing each other’s profession and when I am telling her about my profession he interrupt and said; I don’t like women work as they hurdle our salary and promotion. I asked him, how can a co-worker hamper your success? He said they are too slow to meet the dead lines but are consistent in their performance. So other  company is getting more in less and they don’t demand for increments, which in return affect men’s life as when they ask for increment the boss give them the example of these women who share the same post and more consistent in her performance. So he interpret that these girls are acquiring their jobs in less pay which attract companies to hire them over man. When he finished I just asked him a single question; you are a father of a girl and will you be not happy seeing your girl working and achieving her goals?? The man said no….I will not allow her to work.

We live in a patriarchy world where man always has an upper hand. But why always women have to sacrifice their life for you or your family….they do have dreams to fulfill but then why always they are asked to forfeiture by keeping their aspirations on stake…I will not blame men!! But the society for their myths about women…the defect or the loops in the upbringing of a girl where constantly people around her told that she has to behave in a certain manner because she is a girl. Also society manipulates the traditional stories and put up in the way that world looks male dominated and women as a sufferer. For example: in Hinduism – ‘Sita’, wife of Lord Rama sat on fire to prove herself pure (interpretation by the society: girl are not allowed to step out from their home and they are the property to their husbands) ; in Jainism – they don’t praise any goddess as they consider their menstruation as a curse for the purity to be the God(interpretation: women are nothing without man); in Islam – man is allowed to have four wives (interpretation that they are allowed to marry as many women). In some traditional setups, women are required to be covered from head-to-toes in dark grab, where their greatest offence is showing their face, while on others, they are untouchables during the period of menstruation, unable to enter a kitchen or eat with their own family.

These biased stories in our childhood from sacred books never tell us the other side of the coin where women are kept at the top in every single religion, where they are respected, how they should be respected and also states the consequences for not doing so. “Our religion is not and has never been, “reluctant” to tell women to stop doing things.” In fact, people build entire careers around it and manipulated them for their well-beings. We start believing the facts that we are weak and a step below them. The brutal irony is that it is an evil perpetrated against girls by women and we just stay silent and tolerate because we learnt to behave this way. In Urban Liberal Society the inequalities exist with different notions, spinsterhood, divorce and single motherhood are un-expectable in many shells. The societal pressure to settle down, conform and support only the spouse’s career along with an uncooperative family ensure women give up the hope of long-term careers, settle for odd jobs, or simply quit.

“Things keep happening all around us. There is violence, there is gore, there are people who will use us and never look back to see what became of you, and worse, there are people who will break us into smithereens before they leave.”

Every women or individual is aware of our condition and our suffering but still it is phenomenon because we are allowing us to suffer. We can’t change the myths just by talking. We have to act to revolutionize it. By giving women reservations, talking about gender spaces or trying to plan city according to gender equality are not the answers to this problem. They may be the tools which will help us out in later stages but for a real change we have to start with basics.

To bring a real change we have to transform the upbringing techniques of our child, from the childhood we have to teach a girl that she is none lesser then any guy, she can do everything and anything she wants. We have to break our mental myths and come out from the cocoon where we consider her weak. We have to make our next generation understand women equally important as man. We have to give her the freedom and teach our son to respect every girl she met. The discrimination regarding education, freedom, priorities, fashion etc should be change to break the line between a girl and a boy. Boys should be educated regarding the superiority of the women, being responsible to carry forward lives on planet and she is as important as a man to be a part of every decision making. The sacred stories are to be reframed, where they indulge the value and position of women in every individual.

Above all we as a woman have to believe in ourselves, that we are no lesser than a man and can achieve everything we want. As a women love yourself and respect every woman around you. Stop underestimating your strength, because god made you to fight against all the pains so just club up all your inner powers and answer this world that when we agree to same principles everything will be change. We don’t need a matriarchic society but for equality we have to fight back for our own rights….if we are responsible for every new life than make them believe that if you kill us, ‘You are ending life’ on this earth. Ladies proud to a part of womanhood…. ‘Together we can and we will bring a change’, and for this start action as ‘word may lie but action will always tell the truth’.

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4 thoughts on ““LET’S BEGIN OUR PORTION” ,Better to be strong than pretty and useless.

  1. Very inspiring neha… as always you have written from your heart… the best written pieces are always those which the author has experienced or can relate with… my mother taught me that a woman can become durga, parvati, saraswati and much more as per the circumstances.. that’s why hindu religion has so many goddesses… to show that women have all the powers inside them. But women need to muster the strenght to accept what powers they behold.. someone has said YOU ARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE

  2. It is wonderful article enriched with multiple information’s……why do you stop to write articles and other passions…use your talent….age is just a number nothing else….I am also thinking about to restart my passion for painting again in near future…….please don’t be too negative there are still the peoples are available in this world who treat women’s equally as they treat man’s….see the following-

    Case 1- Geeta Phogat daughter of Mahavir Singh Phogat’s was the first female wrestler from India to qualify for Olympics. She won the gold in 2010 commonwealth games. Just imagine they belong from Balali, Haryana…Haryana!! Famous for killing female infant and for honor (?) killing….how hard it was for both father and daughter to achieve this success.

    Case2. Her face ravaged by an acid attack by a man whose proposal of marriage she declined at the age of 15 nearly nine years ago. Laxmi, now 24, whose story of courage in the face of extreme adversity is very inspirational, has found a partner for life.

    I have already discussed in previous articles that women is not responsible for gender of child… They are only responsible to give a birth of a new life…although the peoples are aware but even the educated persons not want to accept this…Actually the main problem is since our childhood a boy always get the more liberty to do anything (?) as compared to girl, All these things creates a mentality in males and females BOTH that girls are inferior from boys….they needs protection from boys……I am also very protective for my siblings but not assuming that they are weak but because of I know the mentality of boys…. Most of them don’t want to understand that girls are not object they are creator of life just like your mother but the main problem is; it is hard to change the mentality of a person who doesn’t want to change….

    Let me give one example, during my graduation, one of my classmate uses the quote “Chaara phenk diya hai…dekna zaroor phasegi”, he always told us how he use the girls emotions then after fulfilling his ill desires, he left them just like a PEPSI CANE… I tried to convince him to give respect to girls, they are not pigeons (not even pigeons deserves such ill treatment)…..they are human just like us, but he didn’t change…In final year I asked him, in case if he get the girl child then what will be his reaction…he simply yelled on me and said that he will get the son for sure shot because he doesn’t have sisters, as their family had “Noble genes (?)” and he “CURSED” me that I will get the daughters only….I simply told him that I would love to have multiple daughters than have a single son like you….Few months back I found that he was celebrating the birthday of her sweet girl child!!… I asked him (not for teasing) on FB now tell me whether your girl is human or pigeon in your view….. He accepts his fault…then I told him that if you feel I was right then please spread it….

    Menstruation… In past I did not give my views about this to girls as it is very sensitive topic especially for girls and I am also conscious for that…This is the first time I am showing my views so if in case I do some mistake then please enlighten me. As you said “Considering in Jainism – ………….. curse for the purity to be the God………they are untouchables ………….their own family.” I know all these things except the Jainism part….Now my question is, Is it a fault of a girl to have this NATURAL phenomenon…are they responsible for it…..absolutely not…In case if some ill minded person thinks that it is the fault of the girl then along with goddess they have to stop worshipping god because they are the creators… Girls are experiencing the extreme pain during this…they are enduring pain for sake of their unique ability to give birth a new life…then why this ill treatment with a girl….Girls have enough strength to endure this but it is still responsibility of their family members to provide them at least mental support….Instead of considering them “untouchable” it is better to provide them proper hygiene for sake of their health as they are susceptible for infections during this….

    I worshiped Lord Shiva, Lord Rama & Lord Hanuman (Especially) since my childhood. I like Rama’s philosophy to be committed with single person for whole life but I don’t like “Agni Pariksha” and “Sita mata ko ghar se nikhalna” for sake of satisfaction of others. First of all it is necessary for us to have faith on our partner but in case, if some person has confusions due to circumstances then he/she has to believe whatever the reason provided by their partner is true…..Always respect the person who always show their true colors without hesitation just like you, as I really LOVE your clear cut and trustworthy approach…please don’t lose it as this is your best quality and also such things increases the level of trust….oops I am not saying that in future you have to give explanations for each & everything to your idiot partner, I am only praising you for your qualities…I frequently use “Idiot” with man because as per my thinking all men’s are more or less idiots……..are you thinking about some person & smiling?……….I hope so…then please have faith on him, he is just in category of more idiots & good thing is that he is improving……

    I agree with you that there is a misinterpretation by the people about women’s, that they are below the man……As per my knowledge not a single ancient book tell this…..All contains the example of woman equality……Just try to remember the example of “Adishakti”, she is considered to be half part of Lord Shiva, means she has the equal power and equal position as that of her husband. If god is ready to accept this then who we are…just a human……why we don’t want to accept this equality……People do fast during Nav-durga but not want to have a Maa durga like girl child….this is just a double mentality…..

    “Things keep…………before they leave.”I am fully agreed with you as it happens frequently around us. let me give one example ……When I was in my second year, one of my classmate sent a message through a common friend that she want to talk about some emotional matter and she want to meet me outside the college…I simply said no to our common friend and later I clarified her that I am committed to dear ones since my childhood and I do not like to play with emotion of girls…. “IS THERE ANYONE HERE WHO KNOWS ME & SEES ME CHILLING OUT WITH OTHER GIRLS……OFF COURSE NOT…….I AM neither GAY nor DUMB…ONLY COMMITTED”……. Later she got engaged with one of my classmate, he was happy to have her because she was kind hearted, committed, intelligent and beautiful. Three year back I heard that he left her……became married with some other girl and reason he told us that he had multiple doubts about her…but the sad thing is that the girl left her multinational company job and sit idle for more than a year due to him…But the happy news is that she again started her life and now have a beautiful child. I am still connected with her on FB (search name similar to…) but me along with my other friends are not connected with her ex because he had committed the crime for the sake of heavy DOWRY and his over protectiveness…….……Now listen carefully…………are you listening?……….oops you are not suppose to put your ear on your laptop screen……Just joking……..In this story there are two types of person one is positive and another is negative…I am not praising myself, I am just telling the truth… it is true incident…

    I am not against women empowerment but I am against of any type of reservation as it is not the solution. It will increases the differences between man & women.…Women’s are equally talented they don’t need such type of support…. If we start from basics as you suggested with our coming generation than it will give the desired results…..Hats off to you as in this article you exactly strike the roots of the problem and I have the same solutions in my mind as of you…….…Aww…….don’t you think we have certain similarities..………oops I am not flirting…….….. Don’t angry…………. I am closing my article with this…………”I hope the fathers and mothers of little girls will look at them and say, ‘Yes, women can.'”

    1. i hardly found 1 person who truly respect ‘a women’ and consider her a human and not an object….. I am here not talking about women empowerment, I want women to be more liberal that’s it!! I am again telling you, I write to express not to impress, hence we have different opinions. People may think, yeh sab to kafi log bolte hai , wahi hum b bol rahe hai, alag kya hai ismein,
      but here i put up things which i personally experienced and not a single incidence mentioned here was copied (as ur Disclaimer suggests). writing is not me passion or hobby, i write when things are piled up in my mind and I want to throw it out,,:P may be i sound little bit kiddish but that’s how it all happened. I feel sad for ME being a women…. n I don’t want the nex Gen to feel the same. I

    2. I am not trying to impose my impressions on others, i write to express and not to impress any individual, people may have different thoughts, but what make them different is their ‘ATTITUDE’. I am not talking about women empowerment, i Just want Man and Women to be more liberal.
      Till date i din’d met a single person who truly respect a women. May be it’s my bad luck, I met educated man too (from IIT) who have this orthodox thinking about women and who demand ‘DOWRY and doesn’t allow her partner to involve in any outside activities’ (b’coz she is a girl). Does our education system really changing our thought about ‘a WOMEN’.
      In love being POSSESSIVE is good, but for the sake of your possessiveness, cutting down her freedom is bad.
      All the word here are my daily experience ant not a single word is copied (as your DISCLAIMER suggests). People may think, their is noting new in my opinion as you can find many articles speaking the same, but here ‘I am more keen to evince my thoughts’.Being a women, I have experienced many loses and yet fighting against them, yet I am proud to be a ‘WOMEN’, but on the contrary I am sad too, and I don’t want nex GEN to feel the same.
      WOMEN should love themselves and above all firstly, they should ‘respect’ themselves, than only they can ask FOR. women in our society doesn’t know herself and that is the main reason for their decay, they allow man to over rule.
      Writing is not my passion neither my hobby, I write when I feel like. 🙂 and I am not good with the words, as I can’t manipulate, I write what I feel, no ARTICULATIONS.

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