OLDmates to SOULmates

DesktopTo all loving friend (specially married) out there, ‘I LOVE YOU ALL…. and miss our silly talks and dusky hangouts. I don’t want to say you have changed, but!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: No words are here to harm anyone’s feeling, i know you all lve me and care for me but these are the things which annoys me a lot and should be rectify….

We were friends….actually best buddies… we have a  large gang, where we use to share our thoughts, joys and sorrows, make promises, constitute anticipation about our future. With the growing age  we fall apart, with different tasks to pursue and with the growing age some got engaged.

Soon my ‘Facebook Wall’ is blowing up with announcements of my former FRIENDS getting engaged and started preparing for further “add ons”

They found their “LOVE”, got MARRIED, and living happily in their cocoons . They are more busy in their lives (which i truly understand and appreciate).  Moment they got married, they have an extended family, husband, children, job, responsibilities etc to look over. Sadly friends end up at the bottom of the list; promises they made as a friend fades away with time.

i have no complains regarding such affairs. But their are some things married friends really need to look over. I know you all are worried about the leftovers in your gang. But understand our perspective too.

‘Living as a single person in a tightly knit religious community is a total suck-fest and you doing the same, they don’t forget to set up their single friends’.

Married freinds make assumptions like stereo types-

1. I think he/she is not yet overcome his/her past relation.

2. I think he/she is not straight.

3. He/ She sets their bars too high that nobody meeting up their criteria (they should actually redefine their bars, otherwise nobody will marry them)

4. Over ambition is some time harmful.

5. If not get married on time they will either get a divorcee or a widow.

o-TINDER-facebook

After making their assumptions they start giving us the advice or a “push” to put us in a relationship:

  • May be you should join a club or move out from here, put yourself out more and interact with new people, if you really want to meet someone.
  • Plan your wedding before I plan my baby (otherwise I will not be able to attend your wedding)
  • (or agar hum bole ki abhi nai karni hume shadi) Hey, Ok don’t get  married but at least meet people (kya pata kab kaun acha lag jae. baat nai karogi to kaise karogi shadi)
  • find someone by yourself
  • patch up with your ex and get married to him/her, i think he is the right person for you (jisko yahi dost gali dete the aj patchup karne bol rahe hai :O)
  • hey I have a friend, why don’t you people hang out, ‘kya pata kuch acha ho jae’.
  • You are running out of your age, later on it will be difficult to conceive

They always treat us like we have failed at some test, or we have some disabilities, just because we haven’t succumbed to monogamy.

They call me often and the conversation is always one sided, they never listen to us and have their own stories to tell (yaar hume bhi kuch batana ho sakta hai), and over it when we start to speak this happens:-

“Married friend presses for details. I provide details. Married friend gives advice. I listen and try of how to explain my side without being rude. ( which actually never happens). Married friend continues with advice. I am quite and hopefully polite. Conversation ENDS”

Friends, we know you have so much to talk about, you care about us, but their are topics apart from marriage in this world, over which we can chat about. Your single friend wants to hang out with you and your spouse, without feeling wired. I am not here to complain about our friendship, I know you peoploe are worried and care about me. But it’s important for both the side to listen and to kindly choose your words carefully (I don’t want you people to pity of me because, ‘I am not married’).

I really hope, my own married friends don’t think this section is all bout things they have done because it’s not. I just hope that by reading this you make your friend feel strong and not weak for not getting married (make them feel you are with them always).I know it’s a challenge juggling a relationship and friends at the same time, dude we are not demanding time but spare us with these issues (already relatives hai iske liye).

Marriage is the matter of  right time , the day they have their time to get married they will, but till than kindly glam up your friendship with other stuff and not marriage( society is enough for pushing us for marriage, let them handle this).

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5 thoughts on “OLDmates to SOULmates

  1. Itna sa dimag aur itni sari baatein!! So touched by these words…all your friends are just a call away!! 😘😘😘😘😘

  2. Hey Girl
    Just wanted to let you know that you still got some friends whom you can count on and they won’t judge you based on your marital status.
    Stay Happy 🙂

  3. Dear Inspiring lady,

    Greetings of the day!!

    It always gives me a great pleasure to read your deeply impacted and wonderfully sequenced articles….I really like your way of telling serious thing in a funny and sarcastic way….keep going….Did u visit my website….if not then please have a visit and provide ur valuable creative feedback. Now let me share my own life experiences and conclusions…..

    “Friends: Be yourself
    Friends: No, Not Like That”

    What can I say friends are friends….sometimes they become overprotective…..it happens with everyone….I can understand that feeling of “leftover” which my friends also assumes about me….sometimes I feel that my married friends are considering me as a “ad” and using “adblock addon” in their life…..just joking…..Let me share few of assumptions/suggestions made by my married friends-
    1. “Tere tho maje hain….koi responsibility nahin”….Like I don’t have parents to take care.
    2. “Hum married logon ko other females ke samne decent rahna hota hai”….Like as a “leftover” I have right to flirt every girl.
    3. If an unknown girl responds properly then “tere ko tho respond karegi hi”…like I am having a tag of “unmarried” over my forehead and there is no role of my behaviour….
    4. “koi pasnad kar le…friendship karwa doon….meri ek sister in law hai…. ho sakta hai tera bhala ho jaye”….Like I am dying without marriage and I don’t have anything else to do.

    But I have one advantage that I don’t have many best friends so in general I don’t get flood of suggestions. If in case I get suggestions then I always tell whatever I feel….I believe that if a person truly cares/loves me then they will not left me only due to my straight forwardness…. If a person is only showing off or trying to tease me then I am better without them…..Always remember being single is not a crime….it is of every individual’s right to decide to whom they want to associate with….I have recently see this quote, let me share with u-

    “People come and go, but life is simply about seeing who cares enough to stay.”

    Relationship not just happens; it needs true emotions….true love…..true efforts…..faith….respect…. “hurt”……between TWO persons….Love & hurt is synonym to each other and hurting each other happens in every relation but it deepens the love if there is any……who said it….who said it…..off course me….

    Now I am ending this conversation for a WHILE with this wonderful quote-

    “A successful women is one who can build a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at her”

    Best Regards
    Aashish K

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