Tag Archives: marriage

WedLOCK

After running away for so many years finally I am on the other side of the game, ‘yes! I am married now’. Does this change my view on marriage?? Does those fairy tales about prince charming is a reality or just the advertising element to sell marriages as a product? I will say a NO. I am still doubtful, why we have to make things complex, if we can easily make it simple by just being in LOVE.

 Yes, I am happily married for past one year and exploring new things every day in my marriage. Rather, I am still in the sync up mode but still things are getting better day by day. I understand marriage just not brings two identities together but also two lives with different choices, complex attitude and their own lifestyles and amalgamation of all these leads to unwanted fights.
After marriage things have been changed, my perspective for most of the issues are concerning my husband. . I know my priorities, dislikes, likes, preferences, mood swings, food habits and may be the symptoms of getting ill have undergone a major shift for the sake of marriage and I am trying to convince myself that this is ‘NORMAL’.
Marriage change both man and woman. Women find internal and organizational take over where as men find external and financial takeover. He, as a man also fighting to get in into a new scenario which we, intentionally created for ourselves.
I was a very ambitious girl with full of dreams, good job, independent, bold, outspoken and happy attitude (this was me before marriage). In just one shot all these traits are either missing or in the verge of fade. I will not blame my husband for this but will surely blame marriage. It took everything from me; my parents, my friends, my job, my independence. I shifted to USA and being not from an IT background, getting a job is difficult. So my husband suggested me to pursue my studies and here I am, again experiencing a student life (surely with the pressure of having a baby).
After marriage you cannot be yourself any more, you have pressure from society to behave in a certain manner, to talk politely, to wear decent clothes and inform someone before leaving the house. These may not be the restriction in my maternal house.
Everyday I discover a new statement stating my qualities (or you may say shortcomings), a new adjective, which is new to me and before marriage I was not aware of these traits. I always overthink on these adjectives and ask myself am I like this or marriage made me so??
I often miss my friends and family, I do call them but they are also so busy in their own so called married life.
Ya we spend good time too. We go for holidays, he cooks for me, he makes me feel special with surprise gifts and candle light dinners, he opens a door for me but again these are the short term activities. He is working and I am now a housewife. I wait all day for him to come home at talk to me, rather he either sleeps of work at home. When I complain about his time, he tells me that everybody works like this in USA(Indians who works for two time zones).
We play a blame games and blame each other or n number of things, (I will not go into the details) but at the end we sort it out, as in the end we will remain together and it’s about us. 
Yes I am ‘MARRIED’ and living the complex life, but I am happy here, its peaceful here (apart from all the madness).
I miss talking my heart out, I miss being myself, I miss my long drives, I miss myself….. I thing I am in a rebooting mode (with some new updates).

OLDmates to SOULmates

DesktopTo all loving friend (specially married) out there, ‘I LOVE YOU ALL…. and miss our silly talks and dusky hangouts. I don’t want to say you have changed, but!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: No words are here to harm anyone’s feeling, i know you all lve me and care for me but these are the things which annoys me a lot and should be rectify….

We were friends….actually best buddies… we have a  large gang, where we use to share our thoughts, joys and sorrows, make promises, constitute anticipation about our future. With the growing age  we fall apart, with different tasks to pursue and with the growing age some got engaged.

Soon my ‘Facebook Wall’ is blowing up with announcements of my former FRIENDS getting engaged and started preparing for further “add ons”

They found their “LOVE”, got MARRIED, and living happily in their cocoons . They are more busy in their lives (which i truly understand and appreciate).  Moment they got married, they have an extended family, husband, children, job, responsibilities etc to look over. Sadly friends end up at the bottom of the list; promises they made as a friend fades away with time.

i have no complains regarding such affairs. But their are some things married friends really need to look over. I know you all are worried about the leftovers in your gang. But understand our perspective too.

‘Living as a single person in a tightly knit religious community is a total suck-fest and you doing the same, they don’t forget to set up their single friends’.

Married freinds make assumptions like stereo types-

1. I think he/she is not yet overcome his/her past relation.

2. I think he/she is not straight.

3. He/ She sets their bars too high that nobody meeting up their criteria (they should actually redefine their bars, otherwise nobody will marry them)

4. Over ambition is some time harmful.

5. If not get married on time they will either get a divorcee or a widow.

o-TINDER-facebook

After making their assumptions they start giving us the advice or a “push” to put us in a relationship:

  • May be you should join a club or move out from here, put yourself out more and interact with new people, if you really want to meet someone.
  • Plan your wedding before I plan my baby (otherwise I will not be able to attend your wedding)
  • (or agar hum bole ki abhi nai karni hume shadi) Hey, Ok don’t get  married but at least meet people (kya pata kab kaun acha lag jae. baat nai karogi to kaise karogi shadi)
  • find someone by yourself
  • patch up with your ex and get married to him/her, i think he is the right person for you (jisko yahi dost gali dete the aj patchup karne bol rahe hai :O)
  • hey I have a friend, why don’t you people hang out, ‘kya pata kuch acha ho jae’.
  • You are running out of your age, later on it will be difficult to conceive

They always treat us like we have failed at some test, or we have some disabilities, just because we haven’t succumbed to monogamy.

They call me often and the conversation is always one sided, they never listen to us and have their own stories to tell (yaar hume bhi kuch batana ho sakta hai), and over it when we start to speak this happens:-

“Married friend presses for details. I provide details. Married friend gives advice. I listen and try of how to explain my side without being rude. ( which actually never happens). Married friend continues with advice. I am quite and hopefully polite. Conversation ENDS”

Friends, we know you have so much to talk about, you care about us, but their are topics apart from marriage in this world, over which we can chat about. Your single friend wants to hang out with you and your spouse, without feeling wired. I am not here to complain about our friendship, I know you peoploe are worried and care about me. But it’s important for both the side to listen and to kindly choose your words carefully (I don’t want you people to pity of me because, ‘I am not married’).

I really hope, my own married friends don’t think this section is all bout things they have done because it’s not. I just hope that by reading this you make your friend feel strong and not weak for not getting married (make them feel you are with them always).I know it’s a challenge juggling a relationship and friends at the same time, dude we are not demanding time but spare us with these issues (already relatives hai iske liye).

Marriage is the matter of  right time , the day they have their time to get married they will, but till than kindly glam up your friendship with other stuff and not marriage( society is enough for pushing us for marriage, let them handle this).

Week before “THE DAY”

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So, my lady it’s just a week far, countdown begins!!…… U must be all busy with your last moment tamping…. And here I am with a post, long enough to keep u busy and steal a minute from your schedule for me and JUST ME… !!!! Yeeee!!!! Here you go!!!

Congratulations on your big day!! Congratulations on being the first among all 5 of us to getting married… do guide us on our big day… ;)!!!! Just thinking about you getting married, and all I want to say makes me all teary ( in a best way of course). Your wedding day is all at once a “Very Big Day and Just the Beginning”.

I wish, I had some wise words of intelligence for your new era, but I don’t! Sooner you will be a Mrs.…. A WIFE, a DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, rather accountable for someone other than yourself….your life will change significantly!! And I am so very excited that I will be a part of it.

I am so happy for you. This day is bigger than the Graduation day, or a job recruitment, or the day when we became friends!! “THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY”.

We met in 2004 and became friends….as time passed our friendship became stronger but due to some misunderstanding we had many cold wars……and than in 2009 we went our own ways!!! But destiny planned something else and you came to my city and we regained our loosen bond…. Remember the talks we had in our college days about marriage and the plans we used to make for the wedding day!!!! That was so much fun!! We may not follow our plans but the bond we share is beyond words and you know, you are one of my closest friend.

We’re so different, yet so deeply connected that it doesn’t matter that we met rarely or we hardly share our sorrows. We don’t need it!!! So here are some great and exclusive things about you, which makes you special and dear for everyone around you.

You have a way of making people feel safe and understood; the ability to be honest and upfront yet supportive; the way you understand the unsaid things and react accordingly; the way you manage your problems and desiccation towards the responsibilities which is your biggest asset. And I adore you even after your marriage. I may not be all around you but still I miss you every time….

My advice for this week : feel every moment, wonderful or otherwise. When someone says something you don’t like just think “ This is my Life”; when you are overwhelmed and surprised with someone think “This is my Life” and when you take that man’s hand and declare ypur loyalty and commitment in front of everyone around; think “THIS IS MY LIFE” and smile…. 

“ No matter what’s happening around; you know how to make it favorable”…. Love you my friend and will always do…. be “EXPENSIVE”!!!

Enjoy yourself, laugh, and take every moment for what they create: the beginning of the next part of your life.

A WISH

Today is a dream realized from years past, The red dress, the wedding ring, the promise of a love that lasts.

Today is the beginning of a journey the two of you now share The vow to love, honor, and cherish now seen in the rings you wear,

But tomorrow, tomorrow you will wake as husband and wife, Where the person next to you is yours for life,

And so my wish to you both is that when you wake each day, You will turn to each other with the same look you share on THE DAY.

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