To all loving friend (specially married) out there, ‘I LOVE YOU ALL…. and miss our silly talks and dusky hangouts. I don’t want to say you have changed, but!!!!!!
We were friends….actually best buddies… we have a large gang, where we use to share our thoughts, joys and sorrows, make promises, constitute anticipation about our future. With the growing age we fall apart, with different tasks to pursue and with the growing age some got engaged.
Soon my ‘Facebook Wall’ is blowing up with announcements of my former FRIENDS getting engaged and started preparing for further “add ons”
They found their “LOVE”, got MARRIED, and living happily in their cocoons . They are more busy in their lives (which i truly understand and appreciate). Moment they got married, they have an extended family, husband, children, job, responsibilities etc to look over. Sadly friends end up at the bottom of the list; promises they made as a friend fades away with time.
i have no complains regarding such affairs. But their are some things married friends really need to look over. I know you all are worried about the leftovers in your gang. But understand our perspective too.
‘Living as a single person in a tightly knit religious community is a total suck-fest and you doing the same, they don’t forget to set up their single friends’.
Married freinds make assumptions like stereo types-
1. I think he/she is not yet overcome his/her past relation.
2. I think he/she is not straight.
3. He/ She sets their bars too high that nobody meeting up their criteria (they should actually redefine their bars, otherwise nobody will marry them)
4. Over ambition is some time harmful.
5. If not get married on time they will either get a divorcee or a widow.
After making their assumptions they start giving us the advice or a “push” to put us in a relationship:
- May be you should join a club or move out from here, put yourself out more and interact with new people, if you really want to meet someone.
- Plan your wedding before I plan my baby (otherwise I will not be able to attend your wedding)
- (or agar hum bole ki abhi nai karni hume shadi) Hey, Ok don’t get married but at least meet people (kya pata kab kaun acha lag jae. baat nai karogi to kaise karogi shadi)
- find someone by yourself
- patch up with your ex and get married to him/her, i think he is the right person for you (jisko yahi dost gali dete the aj patchup karne bol rahe hai :O)
- hey I have a friend, why don’t you people hang out, ‘kya pata kuch acha ho jae’.
- You are running out of your age, later on it will be difficult to conceive
They always treat us like we have failed at some test, or we have some disabilities, just because we haven’t succumbed to monogamy.
They call me often and the conversation is always one sided, they never listen to us and have their own stories to tell (yaar hume bhi kuch batana ho sakta hai), and over it when we start to speak this happens:-
“Married friend presses for details. I provide details. Married friend gives advice. I listen and try of how to explain my side without being rude. ( which actually never happens). Married friend continues with advice. I am quite and hopefully polite. Conversation ENDS”
Friends, we know you have so much to talk about, you care about us, but their are topics apart from marriage in this world, over which we can chat about. Your single friend wants to hang out with you and your spouse, without feeling wired. I am not here to complain about our friendship, I know you peoploe are worried and care about me. But it’s important for both the side to listen and to kindly choose your words carefully (I don’t want you people to pity of me because, ‘I am not married’).
I really hope, my own married friends don’t think this section is all bout things they have done because it’s not. I just hope that by reading this you make your friend feel strong and not weak for not getting married (make them feel you are with them always).I know it’s a challenge juggling a relationship and friends at the same time, dude we are not demanding time but spare us with these issues (already relatives hai iske liye).
Marriage is the matter of right time , the day they have their time to get married they will, but till than kindly glam up your friendship with other stuff and not marriage( society is enough for pushing us for marriage, let them handle this).